


Tying the Knot

by Hypnobyl



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha!Holtzmann, Alpha/Omega, F/F, G!P, omega!Erin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 17:30:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7810861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hypnobyl/pseuds/Hypnobyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU; An excuse for trope-laden smut. Holtzmann is an alpha who swore she'd never bend to society's expectation that she mate with an omega. Erin is an omega who swore she'd never bend to society's expectation that she mate and give up her profession. Both somehow find a balance, together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some warnings: This story will contain g!p. This story will contain knotting. This story will not contain much of a plot.

For most of her life, Jillian Holtzmann hated the social system that controlled her world. Because she was an alpha, there were Expectations. Everyone told her how to act, what to do, and with whom to consort. All that junk drove her crazy. She was capable of finding her own way, and she didn’t need people jamming their noses into her business for something as silly as the functionality of her sexual organs.

Thankfully, by the time she hit puberty, she’d discovered the very best way to keep others at bay: lean into her weirdness. Although most people fawned over alphas, who were capable of impregnating omegas of any gender and thus sustaining the population, there was still a natural, social recoil that occurred when someone acted too far outside cultural norms and mores. Holtzmann found her home on the outskirts of acceptable behavior--she slept all day, worked all night, and didn’t do a damn thing about the tangling of her hair. 

Worst of all, she took on a beta as a best friend.

She scoffed at the stereotype that betas were unnecessary to the functioning of society. They might not be sexual beings, but they were still people. And Abby was the best person she had ever met. They spent most of their time together, tinkering with technology and laughing at whatever stupid jokes Holtzmann could think of. They worked well together, mostly because Holtz thought Abby was worth more than her beta label, while Abby thought absolutely nothing of Holtz being an alpha. An easy camaraderie spawned between them, and Holtz loved it.

She also loved how angry the friendship seemed to make both other alphas she encountered and her parents. Alphas always told her she was wasting her time--that she’d be better off securing an omega to mate with. Her parents, too, bemoaned the fact that she was spending her most virile years locked away in a basement with an asexual beta. She was an alpha, they told her during every visit, which came with certain responsibilities. If she didn’t procreate, then she was damaging society.

Honestly, Holtzmann wasn’t too worried about letting society die out. She wasn’t at all convinced that their way of doing things was any good--and maybe another species would evolve over the course of a millennia or two and inherit this world. Maybe that species wouldn’t fuck it all up so bad.

Still, just to shut her parents up, she went to a monthly meet and greet at the local bar. She’d snap a picture with a pretty omega, send it to her parents, and then go home. Sometimes the omega came with, as long as she fully acknowledged that any sexual encounter that resulted was nothing serious or permanent. Mostly, though, she slept alone, with one leg cocked out from under the blankets and her mouth gaping open.

To be honest, she wasn’t even sure how she got so many omegas interested in her. According to the science she’d been taught all her life, she exuded a truly enticing pheromone that made her irresistible, but she and Abby had been studying this purported ‘fact’ with very little success. If there was a pheromone, it was nothing their gadgets could detect.

That evening, she dressed for the bar just as she did every other bar night--straight legged pants that cut off just above her sloppily laced boots, a paint-stained crop top falling off one shoulder, and her favorite necklace: an ‘A’ with a screw through it, to denote her distaste for her social position. She marched down to the bar, phone ready to snap a picture of yet another potential mate, just to infuriate her parents. If she didn’t receive an angry call the next day, then she couldn’t consider herself a success.

She strode into the bar and took a seat at a table just off the small, crowded dance floor. A harried waitress took her order and returned quickly with a bright pink cosmo, a dab of cotton candy still dissolving in the mixture of vodka and juice. She took a sip and let the smooth, sweet taste warm her to the evening. The door opened, and in walked a slim figured woman she’d never seen before--and she’d seen most of the women who frequented this bar.

The woman had long shoulder-length auburn hair, lean fingers, and the most painful looking pair of heels Holtzmann had ever seen. There was actually nothing comfortable about the woman’s outfit, which consisted of a stiff skirt and blazer and what appeared to be a very, very tiny bow tie. Holtzmann wondered what someone like her was doing in a place like this.

Carrying her drink, she crossed the bar. While she hardly thought this woman would be her target for the evening, her curiosity had been piqued. She liked people, especially those who didn’t quite seem to fit into a given environment, and this woman was like an abandoned picnic to an ant colony. She settled against the bar, appraised the woman with her peripherals, and asked, “Come here often?”

The woman’s cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink. “No.”

“Didn’t think so.” Holtz grinned wolfishly and angled her body toward the woman to indicate her desire for a conversation. “I’m Holtzmann.”

“That’s nice.”

Holtz’s grin faded quickly. She wasn’t even hitting on this woman, and she was getting rejected. Scoffing, she downed her drink and retreated to her table. Suddenly, she wasn’t in the mood to do much of anything but hit the harder alcohol and stagger home at the end of the night alone. When the waitress returned for her glass, Holtz ordered a shot of tequila, which she gulped down immediately. Across the bar, that Woman was still sitting there, like she hadn’t done anything wrong.

Well, she hadn’t. Not really, anyway. Holtz grimaced and chided herself for presuming to have any right to the woman’s attention. That sort of alpha mentality was exactly what she hated people presumed of her. It was just chafing that the one person she actually wanted to talk to wanted nothing to do with her. Getting drunk wasn’t going to help anything, so she fumbled for the pack of cigarettes in her pocket and stumbled outside to cool her head. She decided that if she wasn’t feeling any better after the break, she’d go home rather than back inside.

She passed a Black woman on the way in who towered over her and offered a friendly smile. She bent her head, desperate for some space. The woman shrugged and continued in. The redhead at the bar smiled eagerly and waved frantically to get her attention.

“Patty, over here.’

“I wasn’t sure I was in the right spot,” Patty replied as she sidled up to the bar. “This doesn’t strike me as your sort of place.”

“It’s not,” Erin admitted. “But after that nasty business with--”’

“Don’t even mention it.” Patty lifted a hand and tilted her head away. “You invite me out to forget, then insist I remember.”

“Sorry.”

“I’d rather hear about your new teaching position.”

“It’s nothing special--”

“Don’t play it like that,” Patty interrupted. “Girl, you’ve been working your entire life for this--to be taken seriously. It’s tough being an omega in an alpha dominated field.”

“Could be worse. I could have gone into business.”

Patty laughed and ordered them both long island iced teas. “That’s true, that’s true.”

“I’m glad you got here when you did. This woman--I think she was trying to pick me up.”

“You’re not in heat, are you?”

“No, of course not. I wouldn’t go out if I were.” Erin accepted her tea with a polite nod at the bartender.

“Was she cute? Point her out to me?”

“She left right when you were getting here.”

“Figures.”

“It’s not important…”

“I think it is, otherwise you wouldn’t have mentioned it.”

“She was cute,” Erin confirmed. “And… It felt different. If that makes any sense.”

“Oh?”

“Like she wasn’t flexing her muscles all the time and telling me how handsome our children would be.”

“So, a normal person?”

Erin thought about Holtz’s outfit and shook her head. “I don’t think normal is the right word.”

Recalling the woman who brushed past her on her way in, Patty sighed. “Was it that pipsqueak with the wild blonde hair?”

“Patty, everyone is a pipsqueak to you.” Trying not to dodge the question, Erin nodded. “But yes, that was her.”

“Why didn’t you talk to her?”

“I’m out tonight to cheer you up, not get picked up by a stranger.”

“You can’t do both?”

Erin shook her head. “No. You’re my priority tonight.”

“And you wonder why people think we’re a couple.”

“Because an alpha and an omega can’t just be friends,” Erin joked, clinking her glass against Patty’s.

0-0-0

Holtz took one last drag and puffed smoke into the night air. Disposing of the butt, she determined that she’d go back in, have one more drink, and go home. She wasn’t in the mood for a casual encounter, but she didn’t want to run away with her tail between her legs. She’d let that woman see how much she wasn’t affected by their failed interaction. Head held high, she strutted back in and approached the bar to place her order.

If she ended up next to the woman, that was completely and entirely on accident. At least, that’s what she told herself. As the bartender came to take her order, the woman stumbled into her, and she had quick enough reflexes to stop them both from hitting the floor. At this proximity, she could smell the woman’s perfume, and she closed her eyes as the scent overwhelmed her. She gritted her teeth as she remembered proper decorum and set the woman back on her feet.

“Careful,” she muttered.

“I’m sorry. My friend… Oh. It’s you.”

“Yup. Just getting my last drink for the night. Sorry for the inconvenience.” The woman bumped forward again, and Holtz glanced at the woman beyond, who winked at her. Directing her next comment in that direction, Holtz said, “Probably stop ramming into her. If she’s not interested, you molesting her isn’t going to change that.”

Typical alpha behavior, she thought darkly. She accepted her drink and retreated to another location to nurse her alcohol in peace and quiet. Although she had no interest in the two at the bar, she kept an eye out--just in case that alpha thought she could get too friendly with an unwilling partner. Instead, the redhead smiled as the alpha talked. Holtz shook her head and slammed her empty glass down. Feeling more than a little woozy, she got up to leave--for real this time.

0-0-0

“I can’t believe you,” Erin huffed. “Knocking me into her?”

“You weren’t going to talk to her otherwise.”

“Yeah, because I don’t want to.”

Patty narrowed her eyes. “You’re only saying that because I’m here.”

“No, I’m also saying that because I’m not interested in a relationship right now. I have too much to do--and you know the university will just pressure me to quit as soon as they see I’ve mated with someone--”

“I’m not talking a lifetime commitment, E. I’m talking one night of letting loose. You know, historically, there wasn’t such a big emphasis on lifelong monogamy--”

Erin covered her ears. “No. We are out drinking. I am not listening to one of your lectures. Save that for your students.”

“I’ll stop, but only if you go talk to her before she leaves.”

“She’s leaving?” Erin hated that she sounded like she actually cared. She couldn’t help but look toward the door however. “That’s fine.”

“Talk to her,” Patty urged again.

“I’m not just ditching you here at the bar.”

“It would do my poor depressed heart good to know that you’re having fun.”

“Promise me that’s not a lie.” Patty extended her pinky, which Erin nabbed with her own. They kissed their thumbs, and Erin nodded and stated firmly, “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Don’t you dare leave without me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains mature content.

Holtzmann stepped outside and tilted her head to the sky, rolling her neck and easing some of the tension that had built up. She’d go home, put on her favorite pair of flannel pajamas, and curl up in bed with a book on nuclear engineering. That was best way to rescue her evening, she determined. Maybe a nice glass of hot chocolate was in order, as well. Finally smiling again, she set off down the street.

“Wait!”

She halted, muscles tensing in case there was trouble. Although she’d never been harassed outside this bar in particular, people tended to hang around bars looking for easy targets. She was muscular enough to make them regret approaching her, even though she looked small and weak. Holding her head high, she turned around, ready to harry whomever was harrying her. When she found the redhead from inside, she bit back her response.

“Did I forget something inside?”

“I’m Erin. Erin Gilbert.”

Holtz stared down at the offered hand and tentatively shook it. “Nice to meet you. Gotta say, this is a little unexpected.”

“Well, my friend wouldn’t leave me alone until I talked to you.”

“Your friend?” Holtz recalled the other alpha and enlightenment flooded her. “The woman next to you, who pushed you into me.”

“That’s her.” Erin fiddled with her hair and offered a tentative smile.

“I thought…”

“The same thing everyone thinks. No, we’re not together, and no, she wasn’t hitting on me.”

Holtz nodded, although she wasn’t sure what to do with this information. She tucked her hands in her pockets and rocked back on her heels. The alcohol was doing a fine job staving off the chill in the air, but she definitely didn’t want to just stand around chit-chatting. Erin clearly hadn’t had as much to drink, however, as Holtz could see hardened nipples through the lightweight material of Erin’s blouse, which was no longer totally invisible as Erin had unbuttoned her blazer. Her mouth felt a little too dry, and she quickly redirected her attention to Erin’s face.

“Good to know.”

A moment passed awkwardly before Erin said, “Would you like to join us for a drink?”

“I’ve actually had enough for the night, but thanks.”

Erin stared blankly at her and fidgeted. “I thought…”

“Hm?”

“I thought you were hitting on me.” Her cheeks flooded with color, even as she fought to keep her voice flat and her hands from gesticulating wildly.

“I wasn’t at first,” Holtz admitted. “I just thought you looked like an interesting person to talk to.”

“Oh.”

“But I did want to. If that counts for anything.”

“Yes, of course. It was actually nice. That you didn’t just act like I belonged to you.” Erin cleared her throat. “Like all I am is an omega.”

“I assume that’s not all you are.”

“You could find out, if you wanted to.”

Holtz grinned. “An assertive omega? I like it.”

“I--”

“I’m just kidding. I don’t put much stock in any of that.”

“It’s just biology.”

“Some of it.” Holtz shrugged and glanced at the door. “Look, I’d love to bore you to death with all the details of my views on society, but you look cold and should get back to your friend.”

“I thought you wanted to hit on me.”

“I do.”

“So come in with me.”

“Three’s a crowd,” Holtz replied. “You have a nice night with your friend.”

Erin chanced a glance over her shoulder. She so rarely found someone worth talking to, she thought, and that person was just going to walk away. Still, she understood Holtzmann’s point. She stuck her hand out.

“I’ll give you my number.”

Holtzmann’s grin widened. “I like it.”

0-0-0

The text came just after midnight, just as she and Patty were leaving the bar. She checked her phone, smiled, and then tried to hide how pleased she felt that Holtz hadn’t even waited three hours before contacting her. Patty was unfortunately very keen and noticed the moment her lips twitched up.

“Is it her?”

“Yes.”

“What does she want?”

“She invited me over.”

“What?” Patty feigned surprise. “Do you think it’s safe to do that?”

“If she was going to accost me, I feel like she’d have done that at the bar. Or at least shown the signs.”

“You should have just gone with her before.”

“But then we wouldn’t have had our girls night.”

“I told you--”

“I know, I know. But we omegas are loyal to a fault.”

Patty snorted. “I thought you made me promise not to lecture tonight.”

“I did.”

“Then why you trying to get me started?”

Unable to lie, Erin held her phone up. “Buying myself some time to think. Do you think it’s weird? Like going to a stranger’s house after one conversation?”

“You’re sober, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“And you like her, don’t you?”

“I think so.”

“Ask for her address. I’ll make sure you get there, and that she’s not some freak with a dungeon where she kills and skins unsuspecting hot women. If you don’t feel safe, leave with me. If you do, I’ll leave you there, but you damn well better check in from time to time.”

“Thanks, Patty.”

0-0-0

Holtz backed Erin against the wall, her mouth suctioned to Erin’s neck. She covered the expanse of skin slowly, trying to figure out which points could draw the headiest moans from her prey. Her first attempts were typical locations, such as below the earlobe, over the beat of Erin’s pulse, and the juncture of neck and shoulder. According to her experiments, Erin went wildest for Holtz’s teeth grazing roughly across her clavicle. Holtz logged that information away--before reminding herself that this, like every other encounter, was a one time deal.

She peeled Erin’s blazer off, tossed it aside, and took her time unbuttoning the blouse beneath. For every button she popped, she stole a kiss--which often distracted her from the task at hand. She reveled at how pliant Erin’s mouth was, how slick Erin’s tongue, and how tight Erin’s grasp. While she was used to omegas putting her in a position of power, she’d never gotten this intoxicated off being so much in charge and so important to Erin’s pleasure.

Finally, however, she removed the blouse, bow tie and all, and cupped her hands over Erin’s breasts. Erin arched forward, pressing into her grasp, and she couldn’t resist suckling at Erin’s clavicle just to hear that needy moaning that hardened her. Feeling her own desperation, she decided to move things along and discarded Erin’s bra, flinging it into some corner of her bedroom where it would likely be lost permanently. She allowed herself only a moment to marvel at Erin’s soft, pale skin, topped by delicate brown nubs, before applying her mouth enthusiastically to this new canvas. 

Erin cried out as she suckled, causing her to lean back. “Okay?”

“Please,” Erin begged, her eyes squeezed closed. “I need you.”

Holtz rumbled her appreciation and abandoned her worship of Erin’s chest in favor of ridding Erin of her skirt. Not wasting any further time, she also ripped Erin’s panties off. She supposed they were probably cute, and if Erin weren’t gasping for breath, she would have taken a moment to admire them. As it were, they both needed something, and quickly. Holtz tugged her shirt over her head and fumbled with her pants. Erin helped her out of them, and then they both toppled back onto the bed. When Erin’s hand wrapped around her cock, Holtz ground her teeth and tried hard to keep from thrusting her hips forward.

“You first,” Holtz muttered, dragging her fingers through the gathering moisture between Erin’s legs. Erin’s legs instinctively spread wider, and Holtz dipped her first two fingers in while grazing her thumb across Erin’s clit. She scissored her fingers gently and probed for Erin’s g-spot with every other thrust.

Erin grabbed her shoulders and dragged her up for a hungry kiss that left her breathless and unwilling to wait any longer. She slid her fingers out, much to Erin’s disappointment, opened a drawer in her bedside table, and took out a condom. With the ease of years of practice, she slipped the rubber on and gently guided the head of her member to Erin’s entrance. Erin’s eyes fluttered shut, and she nibbled on her lower lip while Holtz slowly pushed inside.

The warm heat drew a long, deep groan from Holtz, who concentrated on not simply rutting against Erin like she truly was as animalistic as people said alphas were. Instead, she kept her thrusts rhythmic and slow, until Erin’s fingernails dug into her back. She stared down at Erin and took in the flushed cheeks and parted lips. Erin met her gaze.

“Please,” she said again, her voice raspy and desperate. “Faster.”

She could say no, Holtz realized. She was totally in control of this situation, and she could make Erin wait as long as she saw fit. Whatever she chose to do, Erin would allow it--and that power was as frightening as it was alluring. Holtz promised herself that she’d never take advantage of Erin’s willing trust like that. Not that they’d ever do this again, she reminded herself.

Pushing that from her mind, she picked up her pace until Erin was yanking her hair and screaming her name. She slowed for a moment to adjust, and Erin nearly sobbed when she pulled out. To give Erin the best experience, however, she needed a different angle, so she tugged on Erin’s hips, flipped Erin over, and pulled Erin’s ass into the air. Penetrating Erin from behind, she snuck a hand around front and found Erin’s clit. As she resumed her previous pace, she rubbed in time. Erin buried her face in a pillow, emitted a series of pleased sounds, and bounced her hips back to meet Holtz’s thrusts.

“C’mon, baby,” Holtz purred. “Come for me.”

Erin tensed around Holtz’s cock, and Holtz wondered if she could literally control Erin’s orgasm. That was taking the alpha-omega dynamic too far, she chided herself--but Erin did come a moment later, with a soft cry. She was about to withdraw, but Erin shook her head.

“You, next.”

Holtz gulped, despite not having much moisture in her mouth. More often than not, omegas thanked her for her attention and scrambled away at this point, leaving her to attend to her own needs in the shower. According to them, knotting was reserved for real relationships, and they weren’t going to risk pregnancy on a one-night stand.

“You on birth control?”

“Condom?”

“Not always effective.”

Erin laughed. “Are you saying you’re super fertile?”

“I’m saying that I don’t want to make your life harder.”

“I’m not, but I--I don’t mind.”

Holtz pulled out with a quiet gasp. Even if Erin was willing, she wasn’t; she couldn’t, with a clean conscious, take that risk. She discarded the used condom and flopped onto her back. Erin cuddled up to her and stroked down her stomach. She made eye contact and lifted her eyebrows.

“May I?”

“Yeah.”

Erin’s hand was firm but gentle, and the gentle tugging was much better than what Holtz normally did in the shower. When Erin offered to use her mouth, Holtz pointed to the drawer for another condom, which Erin fished out and implemented quickly. Once it was in place, Erin ran her tongue down Holtz’s member, back up, and then swirled around its head. Holtz bucked up, and Erin’s mouth opened obediently. Unable to contain herself, Holtz groaned at the intense sensation. She peeled her eyes open and watched Erin’s head bob up and down over her groin.

Unused to this, she couldn’t hold on for long. She tugged on Erin’s hair as a warning and came, glad the condom would keep her from simply splurting on the other woman. The second condom joined the first, and Holtz stared up at the ceiling of her bedroom while tingles raced through her body.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nsfw
> 
> end note also nsfw

Holtz awoke just after seven, just as she always did. What was unusual was the weight pressed to her chest and the pleasant scent of something vaguely fruity just under her nose. She blinked and peered down; Erin lied against her, mouth barely open and a tiny hint of a snore issuing forth. Omegas didn’t stay, she thought with mild confusion. Omegas had a good time and then left. Yet, there Erin was, sleeping contentedly against her.

She rubbed a hand down Erin’s back, and Erin sleepily shifted her hips against Holtz’s thigh. Arousal dripped through Holtz, although she didn’t dare do anything about it. Unless Erin was awake and wanted to participate, she wouldn’t do a single thing other than close her eyes and will her erection away. When that failed, she tried to ease Erin gently to the side to escape to the bathroom without waking her.

Erin grumbled at the treatment and opened her eyes. Holtz froze, and Erin took a moment to gather her bearings. She rubbed her face, yawned, and adopted a very embarrassed expression. “I’m sorry. I’ve never--I don’t normally…”

“Me, neither,” Holtz admitted. “Well, I mean, I don’t mind, like at all. You’re fine. It’s just not something that ever happens.”

“I can go--”

“You don’t have to. I just had to use the bathroom. Sorry I woke you.”

Erin’s gaze drifted down Holtz’s body and came to rest on the slight bulge visible under the thin sheet draped over their bodies. She met Holtz’s gaze once more and bit her lower lip. “Did you want some help with that?”

“Is that an offer or a rhetorical question?”

Erin laughed, and Holtz hung on each chipper note. “It’s an offer.”

“Well, it’s an offer I can’t refuse.” 

Holtz leaned over and fumbled her drawer open again. She was running low on condoms, she noted, so she’d need to hit a store later. Erin pulled the sheet back as she ripped the packet open, and she eased the rubber around her semi-hardened member. This morning was unusual in a number of ways, she realized--normally her dick was only present during her evening escapades and gone by morning. As with all alphas, it was the result of her clit engorging and enlarging based on her preparedness for sex with an omega. She’d never woken up with one, but she supposed that having Erin sleeping on top of her had sent her body and hormones mixed messages.

Once the condom was in place, Erin crawled atop her and nibbled on her earlobe. “I wanted to thank you.”

Holtz slid her hands along Erin’s back. “For what?”

“Taking care of me last night.”

“My pleasure,” Holtz teased.

Erin ground her hips down, rubbing her butt against Holtz’s cock. She nuzzled Holtz’s neck as she worked her lower body, and Holtz dug her fingers until her nails were certainly breaking the skin on Erin’s back in a number of places. She tried to ease the tension in her grip, but she could do so without losing control. She groaned, and Erin kissed her gently.

“What would you like?” Erin whispered.

“Ride me,” Holtz replied, her voice shaking. She could easily roll them over and do as she pleased, but she recalled several of her previous partners enjoying this position. She knew this didn’t mean Erin would, but she was nothing if not curious. Every moment was a chance for an experiment, or so her personal motto went. Like a good omega, Erin leaned back, settled herself over Holtz’s now stiff cock, and eased down.

Holtz dropped her hands to the bedspread and fisted them in the sheets. Erin was tight at this angle, and Holtz could do nothing but wait as Erin adjusted to her girth and lowered at her own pace. As much as she wanted to buck her hips, she bit down on her cheek until she tasted blood and let Erin bounce above her at whatever speed was desired.

“Please.” Erin grabbed her wrists and dragged her hands from the sheets.

Holtz swallowed hard as she found her hands cupped around Erin’s breasts. She squeezed them a little too roughly at first but, on seeing Erin’s pained expression, loosened her grip. Interested in making this mutually agreeable, she commanded Erin to touch herself, too, and Erin did so with flushed cheeks and a heaving chest. Things were rapidly feeling too good, so Holtz knocked Erin back and pulled out, finishing in her hand to avoid knotting. After tossing the condom away, she dragged Erin closer by the thighs and leaned down to finish her work with her mouth. Erin cried out, and Holtz realized how much she wanted this to be more than a one-night stand.

The thought was minutely terrifying.

0-0-0

“So, you just kicked her out?”

Holtz paced the lab and kicked at a box of broken parts. “I mean, nicely, but yeah. What was I supposed to do?”

Abby sat nearby and watched with mild amusement. “Take her out to breakfast? Tell her to call you sometime?”

“I don’t do that.” Holtz shook her head. “I’m not that sort of person. I--I don’t want a mate. I don’t want to dominate someone like that all the time. A fun night is one thing--but controlling someone’s life for them? No thanks.”

“Still, you could have fed her breakfast before tossing her out on her butt.”

“I know.” Holtz finally sat down and buried her head in her hands. “It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? Just because this one omega chose to stay the night, I’m having a--would you call this an existential crisis?”

“Maybe more like an existential quandary.”

“That doesn’t help.”

Abby shrugged and picked up a device she’d been working on before Holtz burst into the lab thirty minutes late with disheveled clothing and hair. It fit snugly over her ears, and she fiddled with the controls before turning it on. Nothing happened, and she clicked her tongue.

“Still nothing, Holtzmann. Did you change out the wiring like I asked you to?”

“The wiring?”

“On the helmet.”

Holtz closed her eyes. “I think so.”

“Look.” Abby spun around to face her. “I get that this whole wild night has messed with your head, but we gotta get this work done. Or did you forget the government is paying us to do this?”

“I didn’t forget.” Holtz rubbed her forehead in a vain attempt to stimulate her ability to focus. “I’m sorry. Yes. I did change the wires, two days ago.”

“We just have to get through the last few months of this contract, and then we can go back to our personal projects. But if we fuck this up, we’re out of funding.”

“I know, I know. I changed the wires. I promise.”

Satisfied, Abby nodded. “I’ll take you out for a drink later, and we can talk about this until you drink yourself into a coma.”

“Thanks, Abs.”

“Don’t thank me. I didn’t say I’d listen.”

0-0-0

“It was great.” Erin sat in Patty’s office on Monday morning, and not even Patty’s lecture about sending check-in texts could depress her. She knew Patty was just worried about her, but she wasn’t exactly thinking the night before or that morning.

“I’m happy for you,” Patty replied, rolling her eyes. “But, damn, girl, you gave me a heart attack. I thought she murdered you or something.”

“Holtz isn’t like that.”

“You sound pretty sure, despite only having one night with her.”

Erin blushed and fiddled with her hair. “It was a good night.”

“I’m sure. Are you going to call her again?”

“That’s not really my place, is it?”

“Erin.”

Laughing, Erin jerked back from Patty’s shaking finger. “I know. The history of our society isn’t that of completely submissive omegas and their totally dominant counterparts--but the fact is that most people these days think of the dichotomy as supreme law. If I call, it’s a taboo, isn’t it?”

“She didn’t seem like the sort who cared a lot about socially acceptable behavior.”

“No, she didn’t.”

“So call her.”

“I will later,” Erin said dismissively, not planning to in the slightest. “But right now, I want to know if you’ve heard from Jennifer.”

“No. So much for distracting me from my problems, huh?” Patty frowned.

“That was Saturday night. This is Monday morning, and we gotta get through the pain. She hasn’t even texted?”

“No.”

“I mean, I had a feeling something was going to happen. That’s why you don’t see two alphas dating very often--you’re both headstrong, willful people--”

“Erin, cut the bull shit. This has nothing to do with us being alphas, and everything to do with her ignoring my boundaries. I asked her not to hit on me at work, and she did it anyway. She put both our places at this university at risk.”

“You just had to fall for a grad student, didn’t you?”

“I haven’t fallen for anyone,” Patty shot back.

“Uh-huh. Then why are you so upset by all of this?”

“Because I expected her to respect me, just like I expect everyone to respect me even if they don’t like me. It’s the one pillar of modern society I like--being polite to people you hate.”

“Maybe she’s waiting for you to call her.”

“Ain’t gonna happen.”

“You have to see her at some point. Don’t you have her in class at two this afternoon?”

Patty hedged and shrugged. “If she bothers to show up, yes.”

“You deserve to be happy,” Erin said as she stood and crossed to the door. “Talk to her. Work it out, if you can.”

“Tell you what. If you call your funny little alpha, I’ll call my obstinate one.”

Erin glared at her. “That’s not fair.”

“That’s life, baby girl.”

“Fine. But if I find out you haven’t done it--”

“I will.”

0-0-0

Erin stood at the front of the lecture hall and toyed with her phone. She had a message typed up and ready to go, but she couldn’t quite convince herself to hit send. After all, she really liked Holtzmann, and this could really put the other woman off. What if she sent the message, and Holtz was upset by her taking charge like that? Then again, Holtz said she liked an assertive omega…

She set the phone aside as the first few of her students trickled in. Because of her status as omega, many students had dropped after the first week--but thankfully, most had not. She figured the ones who were no longer present would have made for unpleasant class periods anyway, and she thoroughly enjoyed teaching the ones who stayed. She spent the next hour and a half discussing particle physics, answering questions, and solving equations on the board. Not once did her thoughts drift to Saturday night.

Until, of course, the class ended, and her students trickled out. She stared at her phone, closed her eyes, and forced herself to hit send. There, she thought. It was out of her hands. She professed her interest, and it was up to Holtz to make the next move. For better or worse, she was assertive, and if Holtz didn’t like that, then they wouldn’t have worked out anyway.

0-0-0

Holtz stared down at her phone and nibbled on her lips. Noticing, Abby crossed the lab and peered at the message. She sputtered with laughter and slapped Holtz’s shoulder.

“You must have really done a number on her.”

“Yeah,” Holtz replied absently.

“Gonna let her down easy?”

“What?”

“You don’t do relationships,” Abby reminded her. “Or so you spent all morning telling me.”

“Right.”

“So?”

Holtz returned her phone to her pocket and shrugged. “Problems disappear if you ignore them, right?”

“Not when the problem is, and I quote, a very attractive woman. Especially a very attractive woman who spent the night, and you didn’t mind.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Answer the text. She deserves that.”

Holtz hedged a moment longer. “But I don’t know what I want. I like her, Abby. I shouldn’t, but I do, and everything in me is saying that this is just the way of the world. I’m an alpha, and she’s an omega, and that’s all this connection is. I don’t want that. But I want her. But--”

Abby stuck her hand into Holtz’s pocket, withdrew the phone and typed a response. Before Holtz could complain, she hit send, and the message was out of Holtz’s hands. “There. All done.”

Holtz grabbed the phone back and quickly read the message: I’d like to see you again, but I have a lot on my mind. Want to get coffee and talk some time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> Art by Eevachu  
> | [Tumblr](http://eevachu.tumblr.com/) | [Website](http://www.eevachu.com/) | [Commissions](http://commissions.eevachu.com/) | [SFW Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/Eevachu) | [NSFW Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/Squiggalaimon) |


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting in the coffee shop, Holtz wondered yet again if she was making some sort of mistake. She didn’t participate in relationships--had no interest in them, really, because she could barely manage her own life, let alone someone else’s. That’s what an alpha was supposed to do: take an omega, care for that omega, and be a territorial pissant if anyone came near that omega. The second task didn’t bother Holtz very much; she liked taking care of her friends, but that was hardly because she was an alpha.

But the first? Taking implied ownership, and she had no interest in owning another person. Too many omegas who wanted to date her expected her to control what they did, which Holtz supposed was okay if that’s what they truly wanted, but they weren’t going to get it from her. Having a bit of dominance in the bedroom was one thing, but she wouldn’t--no, couldn’t--let that spread into other facets of her life.

And that third would just make her miserable. While she understood the benefits of monogamy, she just couldn’t throw herself behind jealousy. Her aversion came back to control, she realized as she toyed with a packet of sugar and watched people mill past the coffee shop’s front window. If she agreed to a monogamous relationship, she’d just expect the other person to be faithful, even if they flirted here or there or got hit on by outsiders. She just didn’t have the energy to police every interaction other people had.

She ought to get up and leave before Erin appeared.

Instead, she sat in the booth by the window, took deep breaths, and waited as patiently as she could. She’d gotten there much too early, to give herself time to panic and leave, but she regretted that choice now. She ought to have been fashionably late, as now she looked like she was super eager to meet up with Erin. She was, of course, but she didn’t want to be.

Exactly on the hour, Erin entered the coffee shop, made eye contact with her, and smiled widely. She stood, tossing the now beaten packet of sugar aside. They met midway through the small space, and Holtz extended her hand--she wasn’t sure if a hug would be appropriate given it was their first date, even with their intimate history. Thankfully, Erin said nothing about the gesture, merely shaking her hand and greeting her with a polite hello.

“Have you been waiting long?”

Holtz recalled the last half an hour but shook her head. “Just got here, so not at all.”

“Oh, good.” Erin fidgeted for a moment. “So, coffee?”

“Right!” 

Holtz gestured for Erin to approach the counter as she tried to decide what Erin might like to drink. She had absolutely no clue, so she desperately hoped Erin didn’t expect her to place their order. Thankfully, Erin reached the register and asked for a hot chai without so much as looking back at her for confirmation. Feeling a bit more at ease, Holtz ordered her own triple shot espresso and paid in spite of Erin’s complaints that they should split the bill.

“I asked you on the date,” Holtz said, ignoring the fact that actually Abby asked Erin on the date for her. “It’s just courtesy to pay if you’re the asker.”

“I didn’t expect you to.”

“My pleasure,” Holtz replied. “Besides, you can buy next time.”

They stared at each other, and Holtz realized she’d presumed there’d be a second date. Clearing her throat, she gestured to the booth she’d sat at earlier. Once they were both comfortable, Erin asked, “So, what is it you do?”

“I’m a nuclear engineer--sorta self-employed, but working on a government contract right now. You?”

“I’m a tenure-track professor at Columbia. Particle physics.”

“Pretty and smart,” Holtz said, grinning.

“The two are not mutually exclusive--”

“In my experience, the two often go together,” Holtz countered.

Erin flushed, not used to having her intelligence so readily and easily accepted. Usually, everything was a fight, including the process she went through to get hired in the first place. When she’d been rejected from the first three job prospects, her parents had tried to comfort her by telling her she’d make a wonderful mother to beautiful children, so it was okay that her academic goals weren’t being met. The conversation had first made her cry on Patty’s shoulder and then given her the determination to stare down the hiring committee at Columbia and all but demand a position.

“Thank you,” she said after a moment. “Sorry. I’m just--it’s weird to have someone just accept that there’s more to me than being an omega.”

“If that’s all you were, I doubt we’d be having coffee.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because if there was nothing more to you than being an omega, then I’d just be an alpha--and we’d probably be married already.”

Erin snorted. “Presumptuous, aren’t we?”

“Oh, I’ve already got plans for our joint retirement. How do you feel about Arizona?”

“I’d prefer Florida, if we’re being honest.”

Holtz frowned and wrinkled her nose. “Think of the mosquitoes and humidity.”

“Like Arizona is somehow magically better just because it’s a dry heat?”

“Uh, yes. That is actually true.” Holtz grinned and hurried to grab their drinks when their names were called. When she returned, she took her first sip and sighed her appreciation.

“Addicted to caffeine?”

“It’s an on-again-off-again relationship. We’ve been together for almost eighteen years now, with a few messy break ups here and there.”

Erin blew on her chai and let the steam billow up against her cheeks. “You wouldn’t like my chai, then.”

“Probably not.”

“I think I can look past that.”

“Thanks.” Holtz rolled her eyes. “If you don’t mind my asking, what were you doing at that bar on Saturday night? It really didn’t look like your scene.”

“Patty--my friend--had gotten into a fight with her girlfriend,” Erin explained. She examined the smooth angles of Holtzmann’s face before settling again on Holtz’s inquisitive eyes. “Her girlfriend could have been at any one of our usual bars, so I took her somewhere Jenn would never go. There was no chance of running into her there.”

“Have you two known each other long?”

“Since high school. I was a little bit of an outcast, and she was, too, in her own way.”

“You’d think I’d have been popular since I was the captain of the chess team, but…” Holtz winked, as if she hadn’t experienced the agony of not having friends as well.

As the conversation meandered along, Holtz realized that she was actually having a very decent time. Erin was witty in a dry and quiet sort of way, which complemented her wackier asides. She didn’t notice the time passing until Erin got up to use the restroom, and she habitually checked her phone. A text from Abby awaited her, asking how the date was going--complete with a winking emoji at the end.

Holtz felt her cheeks heat as she replied that it was going very well, thanks for snooping. She hadn’t realized that nearly two hours had transpired, as time seemed to still in Erin’s presence. Her throat tightened as she recognized that what was initially an attraction was developing into something more--and she didn’t know if she was prepared for that.

“You okay?”

She looked up at Erin, pale and drawn. “I’m fine.”

“Because I was gone for two minutes, and now, you look like someone died.”

Deciding to be honest, Holtz sighed. “It’s just that I don’t do relationships--and maybe it’s presumptuous of me to think that you’re having a good time, but I really am, and that’s--unsettling for me.”

“I see.”

“If you want the full truth, I’ve gone out of my way to avoid them for the past decade or so. Great sex is one thing,” Holtz eyed her meaningfully, “but a constant, romantic thing?”

“You thought it was great?”

“You didn’t?”

“I did,” Erin admitted. “The best I’ve had in a long time.”

“Why thank you.”

“You ham.”

“I’m more of a turkey, but whatever.” Realizing that she’d guided their conversation off track, Holtz rubbed the back of her neck and tried again. “I know it’s probably super early to talk about this, but what do you want from me?”

Erin considered the question gravely. She found the sugar packet Holtz abandoned and took over ruining its shape. “I haven’t dated much myself, but not for lack of trying. It’s just hard to find a good fit. I’m not exactly what people expect, and that’s tough for them to accept. I’m not going to change, at least not for them. I suppose I got excited by you--or by the you I thought I knew from Saturday night. When I contacted you, I just wanted to see if what caught my attention was a fluke or--or something real.”

“Go on.”

“I’m fairly convinced at this point that you’re who I think you are, at least in some regards. In the important ways.” She lifted her gaze from the sugar packet to Holtz. “I’m not sure what I want at this juncture, other than I’d like to continue getting to know you. If you’re amenable…?”

“Are you asking for a second date?”

“As long as you let me buy the coffee.”

Holtz noted the way her heart suddenly jumped into overdrive. “I think that could be arranged.”

When they parted ways, Holtz kissed Erin’s cheek, and the grin she received in return made excited tingles race from her fingers to her toes and back again. She practically pranced to work, where Abby grilled her for details--which she only sparingly provided--and later that evening, when the euphoria was beginning to subside, a text buzzed on her phone.

Erin thanked her for the coffee, the conversation, and the afternoon, and the excitement once more filled her. As she lied in bed and stared at the ceiling, however, she wondered what she was doing. Clearly Erin didn’t act like omegas were societally expected to, but Holtz worried that she’d start to act too much like an alpha if she let this thing be real.

When she was thirteen, her father had sat down and awkwardly tried to explain what being an alpha meant. He’d muddled through things without adding much clarification to her confusion and then shoved a PlayOmega into her hands and fled. She’d read a few of the articles, especially the ones written by the sexy, nearly naked omegas who claimed they just wanted an alpha to dominate them--and she’d been horribly uncomfortable. She didn’t think she could ever be what any omega wanted or needed.

She’d resigned herself to a solitary lifestyle because if she didn’t want to reach that almighty alpha standard, then she might as well not put herself out there. One-night stands were well and good because she didn’t mind being aggressive in the bedroom, provided her guests consented to her behavior, but she wasn’t the sort of alpha who was meant for a relationship. She’d always known that.

Or she had. 

She dragged her pillow over her eyes. Erin was making her doubt everything. Maybe she was capable of being that cocky, possessive asshole she fought so hard against. Maybe all it took was the right smile. She grimaced and curled onto her side while the thoughts whirled through her mind. At this rate, she wasn’t going to get any sleep, and Abby was going to be pissed that she was once again distracted at work.


	5. Chapter 5

“Focus,” Holtz muttered as she dug her fingernails into her palm. While Abby hadn’t commented on her distraction, she could feel Abby’s frustration--or she thought she did. Distinguishing between Abby’s feelings and her own projections was a difficult task, one that only took her mind farther away from the task at hand.

“Don’t forget that we have a meeting with Major Murray next week.” Abby set a circuit board down on her desk. “We said we’d have a prototype prepared for clinical testing.”

“We’ll have it done,” Holtz replied with much more confidence than she actually felt. She felt Abby’s disapproval keenly and devoted herself more fully. At the end of the day, Abby clapped a hand on her back and dragged her to the diner down the street.

“You didn’t mention her once.” Abby grinned as Holtz sputtered and tried to feign ignorance.

“Who?”

“Jillian Middle Name Holtzmann.”

“I’ve mentioned myself plenty today. Have you really not been listening?” Holtz perused the menu, ordered the diner’s meatloaf special and a cup of coffee, and then turned her attention back to Abby. “I thought you’d appreciate some actually working, rather than gossiping and occasionally doing something.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, I know I was a little out of it--”

“Yeah?”

“Just a little. Not a lot.” 

Holtz folded her arms over her chest and sat straighter. She might not have been a perfect worker, but she was still better than that one intern they’d hired the summer before. Kevin was the only applicant, and she thought they would have been better off alone than with him--but Abby was insistent. From that point forward, she’d considered Abby to be some sort of saint with a penchant for picking up strays, even ones that piddled on the carpet every single day.

“Maybe it would have been better to talk it out. If you get it out, then you’ll do better work.”

“That’s the rub,” Holtz mused, easing back in her seat and tossing her hands behind her head. “I don’t think there’s any talking this out. I’ve been struggling with this crap for decades, yeah?”

“I suppose. But we’ve all got our shit, Holtz.”

Holtz fiddled with her silverware and considered the many conversations they’d had over the years--especially when Abby’s long-term relationship ended a few years back, and Abby hated herself for being a beta who couldn’t give an omega everything. Holtz insisted that Abby definitely could because ‘everything’ was different for everyone, and one ended relationship wasn’t the ultimate proof that betas were incompatible with romance.

“You’re right. Of course you are.”

Abby huffed and laughed. “You think you can just flatter me, and I’ll just forget that you’re avoiding talking about Erin?”

“Who’s that? Air-in?” Holtz shook her head. “Not sure what you mean.”

“Just spit it out. I know you’re going to see her again.”

“Dinner tomorrow night. I’m picking her up, but she won’t tell me where we’re going yet.”

Abby watched her closely, and she shifted uncomfortably. “Have you talked to her about your concerns?”

“It just didn’t seem like a first date sort of topic, y’know? Like don’t talk politics, and don’t discuss your disdain with societal expectations? Sorta too deep, isn’t it?”

“She’s a professor, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

“And you think she wouldn’t have enjoyed a conversation like that? What, did you two talk about the weather the whole time?”

“No, of course not. It’s just not the easiest thing to bring up.”

0-0-0

Erin adjusted her blouse and primped her hair, which had taken much too long to style. Usually, she didn’t give a damn about her lank locks, but she wanted badly to impress Holtzmann. Although this was only their second date--or third encounter, she amended--she was already pretty certain she liked Holtz in a more than friendly way. However, she’d noted Holtzmann’s uncertainty and wanted to respect that; she’d flaunt what Patty referred to as her assets, but she wouldn’t push for more until Holtz seemed ready.

Her attitude stayed firm until she answered her door and found Holtz offering her a small bouquet of flowers. Thankfully, they weren’t roses; between her allergies and her dislike of cliche romantic notions, she would have died. Mostly due to the allergy, she acknowledged. Accepting the brightly colored flowers, she sniffed them with a shy smile and gazed at Holtz, who’d exchanged her usual straight-legged pants for formal slacks. The upper portion of her figure was cloaked in an elegant suit jacket, completed by a thin, black tie dangling between her breasts.

“Come in,” she said, unable to stop her tongue from flicking out to moisten her suddenly dry lips.

She gave Holtz a brief tour of her apartment, which was clean, organized, and tastefully decorated. While Holtz examined a row of pictures on a bookshelf, Erin tried to convince herself that they needed to go to dinner. They couldn’t just stay at her apartment because she wanted this--whatever this was--to be more than sex. Still, the cut of Holtz’s clothing made her heart race that much faster.

“So,” Holtz said after a few quiet moments. “What are we doing for dinner?”

“Have you tried that Japanese-Italian fusion restaurant downtown?”

“Nope.”

“I figured we could go there, and then there’s this really cute little ice cream store around the corner. For dessert.”

Holtz eyed her curiously. “I’m just getting the feeling you’d rather stay in.”

Erin flushed. “I--”

“How would you feel about ordering pizza and watching a movie here?”

“We could do that.” Gesturing to the living room, she directed Holtz to make herself comfortable and then hurried to the kitchen to round up some drinks and the small booklet of coupons and deals she kept on top of the fridge. There was a special going on at her favorite pizza place, and she was glad to have an excuse to order a pie.

Holtz took the glass of wine with a small smile. “Thanks.”

“I hope red is okay.”

“It’s great.” Patting the couch, Holtz added, “Going to join me?”

“I have to order the pizza first. Any requests?”

“No mushrooms, but I’m flexible on everything else.”

Erin ordered quickly, her eyes always somehow returning to Holtz, who watched her with no subtlety at all. Staying in was going to be interesting, she decided, and she wasn’t sure how long she could keep her hands to herself.

The answer, as she soon found out, was not long.

As soon as they were settled on the couch, she slid her hand along Holtz’s thigh. This action was unconscious, but they both realized immediately what had occurred; she tried to tug her hand back with a nervous laugh and stuttered apology, while Holtz grabbed her wrist and held her fast. Holtz’s grip was loose, but Erin didn’t pull away, deferring almost automatically to Holtz’s desire.

“What about the pizza?”

“We have thirty minutes.”

Holtz released her hand and pushed on her shoulders. “I’ve been waiting all day for this date.”

“Me, too,” Erin admitted as she allowed Holtz to position her on the couch.

“May I touch you?”

“Please.” 

She averted her eyes bashfully when Holtz pushed her skirt up to her hips. Her panties were absconded with, and Holtz tucked them into her pocket with a wink. Although she felt like she ought to be frustrated that someone was stealing her undergarments, all she could do was emit a low, hungry groan. Holtz bent over her, capturing her lips and swallowing her noises. She slid her arms around Holtz’s shoulders, enjoyed the feeling of Holtz’s tongue against hers, and determined that staying in was an excellent idea.

Gripping the cushion beneath her ass, she closed her eyes and braced herself as Holtz eased between her legs and got comfortable. The first lick was the equivalent of the first sip of spiced cider on a cool fall morning--she relaxed, sighed, and wanted more. Thankfully, Holtz was in no mood to tease her. The alpha toyed with her clit, suckling and licking, in strokes alternating between long and short. She squirmed during the short laps of Holtz’s tongue, which were almost too quick to feel, and cried out during the long that felt like an eternity of firm, wet heat rubbing in just the right places.

She grabbed Holtz’s hair and tugged, perhaps a little too hard, but Holtz didn’t seem to mind. She kept up her steady pace until Erin came and struggled to shift back from Holtz’s eager mouth. Holtz sat up and wiped her lips and chin.

“I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted tonight. I know we’re still getting to know each other--”

“I don’t mind,” Erin managed, pawing her hair back into place. “We can still do that, can’t we?”

“Yeah, totally. I just… I didn’t mean to be pushy.”

Erin realized that Holtz meant aggressive--or dominating. She looked to the ground. “I didn’t mind. It was kinda a turn on, really. I appreciated it. Besides, I put my hands on you first.”

Whatever Holtz was going to say in return was lost as her door buzzed. She tugged her skirt back down and strode quickly to retrieve their pizza. Only a few moments passed between her answering the door and returning to the living room, but Holtz had managed to strip down to her skivvies and lie down in a seductive pose on the couch, with the remote control between her palms.

“Did you have a movie in mind?”

Erin blinked several times until her mind began to function appropriately again. She set the pizza on the coffee table and shimmied out of her skirt. Her blouse met the same fate, to Holtz’s approving nod. Leaving the pizza behind, she went to find paper plates and napkins. This was so much better than a formal night out, she thought. She’d chosen the restaurant initially because it felt like a date-like sort of thing to do, but she was really starting to understand that nothing had to be ordinary with Holtz, not unless they wanted.

“I don’t have a wide collection,” she said as she returned. “But how do you feel about scary movies?”

Holtz cocked her head. “I wouldn’t have pegged you as a fan of gore.”

“I don’t like gore, necessarily. I mean, it has a place, but I don’t like movies that rely on gore instead of plot.” Erin handed Holtz a plate. “But I really appreciate the effort that goes into well-made horror movies, even if the acting isn’t always the best.”

“A lot of films these days are cookie-cutters,” Holtz agreed as she pushed the box open and selected a slice. “You like Sal’s?”

“My favorite place to get pizza. I found it when I first moved here, and it’s literally one of the only reasons I stayed.”

“Rough first couple months?”

“You could say that. My parents weren't too happy that I was out on my own, trying to make a name and a life for myself.” Erin would never forget the tense conversation she’d had with her parents before she moved out east. They thought she just needed to meet a nice alpha and start her life, while she wanted to work and learn and see what she could do, all by herself. They’d refused to talk to her at first, as they were completely sure she was making a mistake. That isolation had almost brought her crawling back home--back to their validation--but she’d fought time and time again to make them understand that this was her life. She was going to make decisions based on her dreams, not some alpha’s.

“Once I moved here, I never wanted to leave. I love the feeling of being nobody. A single nobody in a city full of people trying to be somebody.” Erin averted her gaze, and Holtz hurried to add, “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be somebody, really. It’s just I was always pushed to do that, and well…”

“You’re contrary,” Erin supplied with a smile. “It’s in your nature.”

“I guess so.” Holtz grinned back and bit into her pizza.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: non-graphic mention of dub-con

Erin selected a movie about a serial killer stalking a college campus, which she liked because of its twist ending. The plot was light enough that they didn’t have to watch every detail to understand what was happening from scene to scene, but good enough that Holtz wouldn’t think she was dumb for selecting it.

“I wanted to see this when it was in theaters,” Holtz said between bites. “It looked good. I assume since you own it, it is?”

“Well, I’m not promising it’s movie of the year, but it’s pretty good. The effects, at least, are well done, and you can tell the editor was really concerned with the transitions between moments to build suspense.” Erin hesitated when she noted Holtz’s smile. “Is something funny?”

“I just think you’re cute when you’re talking about something you obviously like.”

Cheeks heating, Erin looked away. “Oh, well. Hah.”

“What else do you like, other than horror movies?”

“Does particle physics count?”

“That’s what you do for a job, so I guess?” Holtz shrugged. “Would you do it even if you weren’t getting paid?”

“Yes.”

“Then it counts.”

“What about you?”

“I really enjoy learning about space. I wanted to be a rocket scientist when I was younger before I learned how restricted they are. I’m too much of a free spirit.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” Erin turned her attention to the movie, afraid that if she spent too long looking at Holtz, she’d blurt something stupid out. Holtz was flighty enough, based on what she knew, so she didn’t want to endanger their evening by talking about her feelings. “But you work for the government now, right?”

“On a contractual basis.”

“Is it top secret, or can you talk about it?”

“A little of both. Some of the stuff is on tight lock down, but our current project isn’t. We’re working on a piece of tech that should allow the wearer to see in more dimensions.”

Erin cocked her head. “For what purpose?”

“To be honest, there is none yet--at least not that the people in charge have told us. As far as I know, there were just rumors that other countries were looking into the technology, and we always have to be first.”

“Understandably,” Erin joked. “I mean, second place is pretty much coming in last.”

“Exactly.” Holtz wiped her mouth on a napkin and rubbed her stomach. “This was such a good decision. Nice choice in date, Gilbert.”

“Thank you. I’ve been planning this for months, actually.”

“Oh, really?”

Erin nodded, as if this truly were what she had designed. “The restaurant was all a ruse, just to get you over here in my apartment where we could be all alone.”

“Wow,” Holtz replied, her lips curling up at the corners. “You really are a forward omega, aren’t you?”

“I prefer to think of myself as a person who goes after what she wants.”

Holtz blinked and nodded. “Well, yeah. Sorry. I feel like I just stepped on your toes.”

“You did, a little.”

“You didn’t mind the first time I said something like that?”

“That was before I wanted to spend more time with you,” Erin stated, averting her gaze. “Now, if we choose to see each other again, I don’t want to hear that. I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings, but--”

“No, that’s fine. I’m truly sorry.” Holtz took her hands and squeezed. “It’s a bad joke, and it makes it sound like all I care about is you being an omega, which is definitely not true.”

“Thank you.” Erin relaxed and gestured to the screen, where the movie was ending. “Well, we missed the final showdown.”

Shrugging, Holtz released her grip and settled back against the couch. “It was a good movie, sure, but I prefer talking to you.” She dug her phone out of her pocket. “It’s getting a little late, though, huh? I should let you get on with your night.”

“Is this because--”

“Oh, no. Seriously, no.” Holtz lifted her hands. “I was just trying to be polite. To, you know, not have expectations.”

“Expectations?”

“Yeah. About how this evening was gonna go.”

“Oh.” Erin flushed as she said, “I’d like you to stay, if that’s okay with you.”

“It is. But I don’t want you to feel like I have to.”

“Please.”

Erin cleared the pizza box, just to give herself something to do. If she sat there much longer, she’d probably make the situation that much more awkward. Although she’d fought for nearly everything in her life, she was having trouble voicing this particular desire. Holtz stood quickly and grabbed her waist, holding her steady.

“Would you like to have sex?” Holtz’s voice was hot in her ear, and she dropped the pizza box immediately as relief coursed through her.

“Yes. Please, yes.”

“I didn’t bring condoms. Do you have any?”

Erin flushed. “I was a little serious when I said I’d been planning this for a while.”

“I’ll definitely take that as a yes.”

“In the bedroom.”

Holtz slipped an arm under Erin’s legs and hoisted Erin up. As they moved to the bedroom, she kissed Erin gently, and Erin gratefully clung to her. From the tour earlier, Holtz knew where to go, and she deposited Erin on the bedspread before quickly undoing her bra and slipping out of her underwear. She gave Erin the same treatment; the process took under a minute, but Erin felt like an eternity passed before they had gotten rid of all their clothing.

As soon as they’re both bare, Erin lied back and let Holtz straddle her midsection. Holtz cupped her cheek. “I really am sorry about earlier.”

Erin traced her fingers down Holtz’s back. “I accept your apology.”

“Fantastico.” Holtz leaned down to kiss her again, and she could feel Holtz’s member hardening against her skin. She snaked her hand between their bodies and stroked it; Holtz stopped her and murmured, “Condoms?”

“Under the pillow.”

“Nice. Easy access.” Holtz winked before leaning beyond her, rummaging under the pillow, and tearing into the box. She selected one and fumbled it on and then allowed Erin to touch her once more.

Erin understood the caution, even if she often just wanted the contact. She wasn’t always as prudent as she ought to be, so she was glad for Holtz’s cool head. With Holtz’s permission, she slid her hand up and down until Holtz was bucking against her. Holtz jerked back and felt between her legs; she felt ready, but Holtz coaxed her along until her arousal coated her thighs and Holtz could easily fit a few fingers.

Trying to help, she drew her knees to her chest and tossed her heels over Holtz’s shoulders. Holtz grinned down at her and slipped inside, and Erin threw her head back. She’d had a few partners over the years--nothing really permanent or steady--but she couldn’t recall anyone making her feel this way. She luxuriated in the feeling of Holtz inside her, as well as the security of having Holtz’s above her. Trusting Holtz so much was likely a little silly, as they didn’t know each other all that well, but she couldn’t help it; she couldn’t muster any negative feelings while they coupled, and she wasn’t afraid that Holtz would hurt her.

As Holtz’s pace picked up, she released the moans that had been building up within. She reached up and dragged her nails down Holtz’s back, and all she could hear was the slap of their flesh and Holtz’s rough breathing.

Holtz broke the quiet with a haggard: “I can’t--I’m going to--”

“It’s okay,” she groans back. “Do it.”

Her permission seemed to be all Holtz needed to come; the alpha yanked free, cried out, and shuddered. Erin filled the void with her own fingers, grinding down on her clit with the heel of her palm until she climaxed as well. Holtz wiped her forehead and sighed.

“Sorry. That doesn’t normally happen to me.”

“It’s fine. You already took care of me earlier. Or had you forgotten?”

“I hadn’t.” Holtz flopped down beside her. “It’s probably super weird, but I was just thinking about how excited you were talking about horror movies, and I just lost it.”

“Yeah, super weird.”

“Gimme a few minutes, and then I’ll have the energy to hit your shoulder.”

“I can think of better ways to put that energy to use.”

Holtz grinned. “How long am I welcome to stay?”

“That depends,” Erin replied, turning onto her side. “How long do you want to?”

There was a moment of silence, and Erin worried she’d overstepped. She didn’t mean it to sound like an open invitation, although it was, and she didn’t want Holtz thinking she was already too attached to the relationship, if that’s what they had.

“I have to get into work tomorrow but not early. I could probably spend the night, if that’s what you’re offering.”

“It is.” Erin snuggled closer, leaning her head on Holtz’s chest and staring up into Holtz’s eyes. “I’m curious.”

“About?”

“It sounds horribly cliche, but you’re not like other girls.”

“I read books and am socially awkward.”

“Hah.”

“You’re not like other girls, either,” Holtz offered instead of a real response.

“Not for lack of trying. When I was younger, I wanted so badly to fit in. I was quiet and complacent, and I did everything I was told.”

“I can’t even picture that.”

“I got hurt.”

Holtz shifted back and propped her head up on a pillow. “How? I mean, if you’re willing to share. No pressure.”

“It happened when I was still in high school. This guy I liked invited me to a party. I was never invited to parties, so it felt like maybe I was finally doing something right.” Erin hesitated. “When he told me we were going to have sex, I agreed because isn’t that what omegas are supposed to do?”

“Society really sucks.”

“I went home right after, and I didn’t go back to school for a week. When I got back, he’d already spread rumors about me, worse than the ones that were already floating around about me seeing a ghost when I was younger and being in therapy.” Erin sighed. “Nobody was going to believe me anyway, not over Josh Strets.”

“That just sounds like the name of a douchebag.”

“From that point on, I figured there was no point in trying to fit in. I just decided to do what I wanted. I had this physics teacher who was willing to help me after school. She was an omega, too, and she probably saw a bit of herself in me. She helped me get a full ride to the University of Michigan, even when my parents only wanted me to go to college to find an alpha to support me.”

“How’s being yourself working out?”

“Well, so far, I think.”

“I think so, too, if that counts for anything.”

“It does.”

“Thanks for trusting me.”

Erin bit back a laugh as Holtz’s hand latched onto her breast. “You have your energy back?”

“Yeah, a little.” Holtz leaned onto her elbow. “Look, before we do anything else tonight, we have to talk, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I don’t care that I’m the alpha and you’re the omega. If you don’t like something I’m doing, you have to say something.”

“I will.”

“I’m one hundred percent serious about this.” Holtz lifted Erin’s hand to her lips and kissed Erin’s knuckles. Erin blushed at the tender contact, which she wasn’t expecting from the other woman. “I’m totally fine being in control and bossing you around in here, but that definitely comes with limits.”

“Thank you, Holtzmann.” Erin tangled her fingers in Holtz’s hair and dragged Holtz closer. “Now please, fuck me.”


	7. Chapter 7

When the meeting with Major Murray started, Holtz was more than able to keep her mind on the task at hand. She answered his questions with her usual bravado, while Abby gestured to their equipment and demonstrated when necessary. This was the way they always had to play things--as if Holtz were the only intelligent one and Abby were her Igor. She hated that Abby’s contributions and genius were never recognized, but based on their conversations, she understood that Abby’d come to terms with what others expected of her long ago.

Someday, Holtz was going to flip the script. They’d come up with a product, market it wonderfully, and then after people had bought it and loved it, she’d explain that Abby was the brilliant mind behind the concept and its creation. She looked forward to that day, and she just had to keep reminding herself to hold on until then.

“Is it ready for the clinical trials?” Murray examined their equipment with a keen, skeptical eye. He had a background in engineering, and she knew he’d start perceiving weaknesses where there were none if left to his own devices.

She cleared her throat to get his attention. “Yes. We want to start with a single participant, and then, once that trial has proven safe and successful, we’ll apply for funding for trials with larger pools of participants.”

“We were expecting faster results.”

“We can go faster,” Abby muttered under her breath. “But we’d sacrifice safety.”

Murray continued as if he hadn’t heard the snide comment. “We would like you to skip the initial trial and start with both an experimental group and a control group of twenty-five people.”

Holtz glanced at Abby, who rolled her eyes. “We would like it noted that we aren’t comfortable with skipping--”

“Noted,” he interrupted. “Any other qualms I can lay to rest?”

“No, sir.” She shook his hand and then, when he left, slouched over the table. “We’re going to have to build so many more of these. Going straight to fifty participants? That’s madness.”

“Madness? That’s the military.”

“I guess.” Holtz ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “But we’re going to have to work overtime to get all of this ready and find fifty people willing to do this. D’you think they’ll give us enough money to pay our lab rats anything substantial?”

“Probably not. They probably think people will do this out of the goodness of their America-loving hearts.”

Laughing, Holtz found a seat. “This is going to kill my social life.”

“You’re just worried about not having time to see Erin.”

There was no use in obfuscating or denying. Holtz nodded morosely. “But maybe it’s for the best. It’s getting a little too serious, y’know? She’s slept over a few times now, and I didn’t mind.”

“Hot damn.” Abby propped her cheek on her palm. “Little Holtzy is in love.”

“Pfft.”

Holtz hesitated, however, and considered that. She couldn’t have fallen in love because that would mean she’d fallen into the trap society had set out for her: alphas and omegas were meant to be in love, and soon, she’d take possession over Erin, have a few kids, and reign supreme. She didn’t want that at all.

Well, she amended, she did want Erin. There wasn’t anything better than being around the smart older woman, who knew so much about nearly every topic and didn’t mind learning when a deficit was discovered. Holtz admired her tenacity in getting a teaching job--and not giving up when society tried to beat her back down. As a person, Erin was exemplary, and Holtz considered herself lucky to know Erin at all, let alone intimately.

She supposed she had strong feelings, but she usually did for people with whom she spent a good deal of time. She felt the same way about Abby’s goldfish--but that didn’t mean she loved Alfonse. Troubled, she stared down at her hands until Abby snapped to get her attention once more.

“I asked what we’re going to do about building more of these.”

“Oh. I guess we get started. How do you feel about ordering Chinese for dinner? I get the feeling we’ll be here all night.”

“Didn’t you have dinner plans with Erin?”

“Yeah, but we have to get this done.” Holtz fidgeted and added, “Besides, I need some time to figure some stuff out, y’know?”

“Don’t push her away, Holtzmann.” Abby fixed her with a terse stare. “If you ask me, she’s the best thing that’s happened to you in forever.”

“That’s just it--she’s not a thing. She’s a person, and I’m never going to treat her like a thing. Ever.”

“It’s just a turn of phrase.”

“Yeah, maybe. But not according to the People of Modern Society.”

Abby set her hand on Holtz’s forearm and shook her head. “Poor Holtzmann. Trapped between a beautiful woman and horrible expectations.”

Holtz managed a more honest chuckle before gesturing to their equipment. “We better get started if we ever want to get some sleep tonight.”

0-0-0

Erin stared down at her phone and sighed. She supposed she understood that Holtz had to work, but she’d been looking forward to seeing the brilliant engineer all day. There was a bit of excitement building, too, which she wouldn’t have an outlet for anymore. As long as she kept thinking about Holtz as primarily a source of great sex, then she wouldn’t have to acknowledge how genuine her feelings were. She didn’t love Holtz, she just loved what Holtz could do to her.

“Holtz cancel?” Patty watched her carefully.

She tucked her phone back in her pocket and resumed reading essays. Her students were young, but very few of them appeared to have a bright future in physics. “Yes. She’s got a lot to work on.”

“You only ever get that immediately depressed when it’s something with her.”

“I know.” Erin rubbed her forehead, fearing that the sudden disappointment could lead to a headache. She wanted to get this work done, so she could just go home that evening and relax in bed with a book and a glass of wine. She loved teaching, but grading left much to be desired.

“Have you talked feelings with her, yet?”

“No, and I don’t plan to. She’s not into feelings, and I don’t want to scare her away.” Determined to get the topic off her love life, Erin cleverly asked, “Talked to Jenn?”

Patty glowered in her direction before sighing and shrugging. “We’ve exchanged words.”

“What happened?”

“She called me this morning and said she wanted to talk. I thought it was a good idea, but I wanted to talk in person, so she showed up during my office hours.”

Erin winced. “I get the feeling she totally missed what you were upset about.”

“I think she did it just to get a rise out of me.”

“Did it work?”

Patty looked away. “Yeah. I’m not proud, but I got angry. There was some yelling, from both of us.”

“Did anybody hear anything?” Erin leaned forward, suddenly worried that her best friend’s job might be in danger.

“I don’t think so, but I’m pretty sure that’s why she came during my office hours. I think she’s trying to force me--to force our relationship--into public.”

“You don’t want that, do you?”

“I sorta do. I don’t like hiding everything, like it’s something to be ashamed of. But I can’t get fired, Erin. As much as I want to march around with her on my arm and introduce her as my girlfriend, I just can’t. Not until she graduates.”

Erin winced and nodded. “She’s got to see that, right?”

“I don’t know. That’s one of the things that got yelled, but I don’t think either of us was listening to the other at that point.”

“I just want you to be happy,” Erin said quietly. “You’re worth so much more than a woman who doesn’t respect your needs.”

“I don’t want you to forget that things were good between her and I for a long time before this. But then her parents came to town…”

“You think they put pressure on her about you?”

“I don’t have any doubt.”

“Did you want me to talk to her?”

“That’s a bad idea. This has to stay private, between me and her. If I send you, then she’s going to get upset that I can talk about the relationship, but she can’t.”

“I didn’t think of that.”

“I mean, she’s allowed to talk to her best friend, as long as that best friend is trustworthy, but I just don’t think she understands just what’s on the line for me here.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me, too.” Patty leaned forward and grabbed the top essay from Erin’s stack. She snorted at the title and cocked an eyebrow. “I may be a history professor, but even I know there’s something wrong when you’re writing ‘Gravity: Friend or Foe’ in a college-level course.”

“He’s got the basics…”

“You don’t want to fail him?”

“I don’t want to discourage him. He’s trying,” Erin replied defensively. “I like to reward effort.”

“Why don’t you grade those later tonight?”

“I have time right now--”

“I bet your little engineer could use some dinner if she’s working this late.” Patty grinned as Erin’s features lit up. “Bring her some food. You can’t have your date night, but maybe you can borrow her for five minutes.”

“Brilliant.” Erin shoved her belongings in her bag. “You’re the best, Patty.”

“I know.”

0-0-0

Holtz couldn’t stop the grin that crossed her lips when Erin walked into her work space holding a take-out bag. She got to her feet when Erin approached and kissed Erin’s cheek. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought you might be hungry.”

“Abby and I ordered Chinese not that long ago, but thank you so much. We’re probably going to be here pretty late, so I’m definitely going to eat this later.”

Erin peered around Holtz, wondering if Abby was nearby. She hadn’t met the beta, yet, but she’d heard a lot about her. “I’m sorry you got stuck with all this work.”

“We should have assumed the government wouldn’t want to wait for testing to ramp up. If we’d gotten started earlier this week, we’d have been in better shape.”

“I feel like I’m a little to blame--”

“Only a little,” Holtz joked. “I have to admit, you’ve been on my mind a lot these days.”

That’s as close to talking about feelings as Holtz had ever gotten, and Erin was grateful for the tiny hint that she meant more to Holtz than a casual relationship. “I’ve thought a lot about you, too.”

“And I’ve been forced to hear a lot about you.” Abby entered from a door Erin hadn’t noticed before. “You must be Erin.”

“Abby, right?”

As they shook hands, Holtz fidgeted nervously. This must be some sort of final test, she thought. The best friend meeting the girlfriend--her thought process ended abruptly. Her brain legitimately thought Erin was her girlfriend. A tremor of panic wracked her body.

“Did you bring something from that little Vietnamese place?” Abby excitedly snatched the bag of food and peered inside. “You’ve got excellent taste.”

“Thank you.” Erin beamed proudly. She’d thought long and hard about what Holtz might want, and she was glad to see at least Abby was enthusiastic. “Holtz mentioned you two already ate, though.”

“Yeah, but we’ll be here long into the night.” Abby carried the take out to the fridge.

“That’s a good thing, right? That means your meeting went well?”

“Better than expected,” Abby admitted. “Holtz hasn’t exactly been on her A-game lately.”

Holtz flushed and sputtered. “Neither have you.”

“Like when?”

“Like yesterday! When the delivery boy gave you the soup--”

“That was unusual circumstances--”

Listening to them argue, Erin felt extremely at ease. This whole situation felt warm and welcoming, even with the bickering. She decided that she’d come back the next time Holtz had to work late, and she’d bring her grading with her. Even if she couldn’t spend one-on-one time with Holtz, she could still benefit from Holtz’s presence.


	8. Chapter 8

“You really didn’t need to take me to such a nice restaurant.” Holtz stared around the elegant dining room and frowned appreciatively. There were legitimate paintings on the wall, and pristine fabric table cloths donned every table. Additionally, there were three forks for her to choose from beside her plate.

Erin smiled and leaned forward. “You got all of your equipment built on time, and your trials are going well. I figured it was grounds enough to celebrate.”

“You just wanted to see me in a suit,” Holtz accused playfully.

For a moment, Erin was silent. She appraised the slick cut of Holtz’s suit jacket and the way the blue of Holtz’s thin tie matched Holtz’s eyes. Holtz did clean up well, she decided, and she probably did have that as an impetus in her subconscious when she made these plans.

“And you’re opposed to seeing me dressed up?”

Holtz flushed. “No, of course not. You look gorgeous.”

“Thank you.”

“That color really suits you,” Holtz continued, trying to make it seem more like she was genuine and less like she was covering for a mistake. “And I am really enjoying the cut.”

“Holtzmann.” Erin self-consciously tugged the deep v-neck of her dress up. The outfit was a little more revealing than her usual preferences.

“I just meant that it’s very flattering. Not that I was… Y’know… Your eyes are up here.”

While Erin laughed, the waitress approached with their food. Holtz sniffed her and sighed her appreciation. She didn’t often go to restaurants like this because she couldn’t really justify spending so much money on a portion of food the size of a quarter dollar--but damn if it didn’t smell great. There was something different in the scent, too, and she lifted her gaze to Erin, who strangely seemed to be the source of the odor. Erin’s smile warmed her stomach, and she couldn’t do anything to suppress the arousal shooting to her groin.

They were in public, damn it, she thought, squeezing her thighs together and focusing on her food. Erin watched her curiously, but she did her best not to let any part of her sudden inner turmoil show in her expression. Thankfully, the table with its elegant fabric tablecloth hid the change in her anatomy.

Across the table, Erin puzzled over the moment they were currently experiencing. Holtz was shifting uncomfortably, which for some reason made her want to reach across the table and form a physical connection. When Holtz stood abruptly and hurried toward the bathroom, Erin figured it out: she’d gotten lax in tracking her heat. She hadn’t even noticed the preliminary signs--the increased attention from alphas, the greater sex drive, and the craving for positive interactions--all because Holtz provided everything for her. The only alpha she noticed, besides Patty, was Holtz. They consistently had sex, so her sex drive was rarely left unsated, and Holtz constantly gave her compliments.

Of course her heat would have to go into full swing when they were at dinner.

She stood and hurried after her fleeing date, who ducked into a unisex bathroom. Erin caught the door before it could close and slipped in behind Holtz. Holtz leaned against the sink, her breaths coming short, intermittent gasps.

“I’m so sorry,” Erin said quietly as she extended her hand toward Holtz’s shoulder. Holtz glanced at her in the mirror and tightened her jaw. “I didn’t know my heat was coming. I should have been more aware.”

“I think you should leave me alone for a few minutes,” Holtz gritted out. Her hands held tight to the porcelain of the sink.

Perhaps her heat was making her needy, Erin considered as she stepped closer and touched the bare skin of Holtz’s neck. She knew she ought to obey Holtz’s command, but all she wanted was to make this better. To help solve the problem she had created. Holtz trembled at her touch--not out of fear, she recognized, but out of a vain attempt to keep control over herself.

“Let me help,” she murmured, sliding her hand down Holtz’s neck and snagging on Holtz’s tie. Grabbing on, she used the accessory to turn Holtz to face her.

Holtz resisted a moment longer before grabbing her hips and forcibly backing her against the far wall. The kiss she received was bruising and demanding, but she didn’t care that she’d likely have swollen lips. She didn’t even care when Holtz nipped at her a little too hard, and she tasted a bit of blood on her tongue. All she could focus on was Holtz’s hands tugging her skirt up.

Ever cautious, Holtz paused when Erin fumbled with her belt and slacks. “I didn’t bring a condom.”

“It’s fine,” Erin replied. She cupped Holtz’s cheek before returning to her fervent task. “I’ll get a morning after pill. You’re clean, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Just this once, it’ll be okay.”

“I’ll get the pill for you,” Holtz promised and yanked Erin’s panties down to her knees.

Although she recognized that she was letting her instincts overrule her good sense, Holtz threw her reservations to the wind. If Erin was truly willing, which seemed to be the case, then she wouldn’t complain. She let her trousers drop as she dipped a finger between Erin’s legs. A few gentle flicks of Erin’s clit had Erin thrusting against her, desperate for more, so Holtz pulled them around and instructed Erin to grab the sink.

“And remember to be quiet,” she whispered, brushing the hair from Erin’s shoulders. “We’re in a very nice restaurant. Wouldn’t do to get caught, hm?”

Erin whimpered and nodded; her grip tightened as Holtz slid two fingers into her from behind. Holtz scissored her fingers wider, slowly but surely prepping Erin for the experience to come. Although she’d never knotted in anyone before, she was aware that an alpha’s knot tended to be a bit bigger than expected. The thought of actually coming inside of her partner nearly drove her to distraction, but Erin’s mewls of pleasure kept her on-task.

“I’m going to fuck you,” she said. “Unless you don’t want me to.”

“Please--”

“I need a yes, Erin. Tell me yes, you want me to fuck you. Yes, I can knot inside you.”

“Yes, I want you to fuck me. Oh, Holtz, please.” Erin panted for a moment and pushed her hips back. “Please knot inside me.”

Holtz hesitated only a moment longer. “Will you regret this? Is this just your heat?”

“No.” Erin lifted her head to make eye contact via the mirror. “I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

Guiding her head to Erin’s entrance, Holtz bent closer and kissed Erin’s shoulder blade. She pushed in and had to bite her tongue to keep from crying out. She didn’t want to get caught, but keeping quiet was oh-so difficult when she could feel Erin’s muscles clenching around her shaft. Moving as slowly as she could manage, she eased in as far as Erin would take her and waited until Erin shifted to and fro. Taking the movement as a signal that Erin was in no pain and was ready for more, Holtz rutted against her.

To hurry things along, she reached around Erin’s body and massaged Erin’s clit in time with her thrusts. When Erin clenched around her and emitted a strangled moan, marking Erin’s orgasm, she gasped and drove herself deeper. Feeling her knot growing, she stuttered, “I’m knotting. Do you want me to pull out?”

“No. Stay. Please.” There were faint tear tracks on Erin’s flushed cheeks. Holtz wished she could kiss them away.

Instead, she nestled her thighs against Erin’s ass and groaned as the knot at the base of cock grew, filling Erin’s entrance and locking them together. She could feel Erin all around her, and she let her head fall back as her come spurted out. She wanted to stay in this moment forever--just the two of them intimately connected like this. After a few seconds, she realized she wasn’t the only one moaning, and the sound of Erin’s noises were intoxicating.

Once she was done, she draped herself on Erin’s back while they waited for her knot to shrink and loosen. Erin thanked her a few times, but as the strong scent of Erin’s heat faded, Holtz wasn’t so sure this wasn’t a mistake.

0-0-0

“You don’t understand!” Holtz paced the lab with her hands on her hips and her eyes glued to the ground.

“I mean, I guess I don’t understand the exact feelings and process that went into your evening--”

“I don’t feel good about this. She was in her heat, and I abused that.”

Abby snorted. “Look, Holtzmann, I’ve had to listen to a lot of pining and whining over the last month or so, but I definitely have to draw the line here and now. She said she wanted it for a long time, right?”

“It was in the heat of the moment.” Holtz cringed at her pun.

“She asked you for it before, didn’t she?”

Regretting just how much she’d shared with Abby in the past, Holtz nodded.

“But never when we were just sitting around. It was just when she was probably reacting to me being dominating.

“Y’know, you’ve never been this concerned about a partner before.”

Holtz hesitated. If she couldn’t say this to Abby, then she’d have nobody to talk to--so she summoned her courage and said, “I think I love her.”

“Well, obviously. Is that all?”

“I can’t handle this.” Holtz found her seat at her desk and slumped over, her head in her hands. “I don’t want to be in love. I don’t want to be an alpha in control of her omega. I… I think the best thing to do is put some space between us and try to get my feelings contained. I don’t want to ruin this.”

“Avoidance is a great step for any blossoming relationship,” Abby said sarcastically. Holtz, however, wasn’t keen on continuing the conversation, so they both returned to analyzing their results.

0-0-0

Patty laughed at Erin, who had clearly not been listening to a word she’d said all afternoon. Her titter caught Erin’s attention, and she exclaimed, “Finally. Girl, I’ve been talking to you for ten minutes, and this is the first sign you’ve heard anything.”

Erin blushed. “I’m sorry. I’m distracted.”

“Hell yeah, you are. Any other truth bombs to drop on me?”

“I think I love her.”

“Hell yeah, you do.”

“This isn’t what I wanted, y’know?” Erin rubbed her forehead. “What if the university finds out? What if they expect me to resign?”

“Then you keep fighting, like you always have.”

“Maybe I’m tired of fighting. Maybe I just want my life to be simple.”

“Life is never simple. If it is, you’re probably forgetting something, and you’ll realize later that it’s been complicated all along--you just weren’t thinking about everything.”

Erin rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. “Thanks for those comforting words.”

Patty tipped her head. “I do what I can.”

“What do you think I should do?”

“You’ll probably think I’m a hypocrite, but you gotta talk to her.”

“Have you talked to Jenn?” When Patty cleared her throat and looked away, Erin sighed. “I know we’re talking about me. I’m sorry for changing the subject.”

“I haven’t talked to her. I… I think I want to, though, if only for closure. I don’t like the way things are right now, and if I expect you to do something about your situation, I better follow my own advice, too.”

Erin extended her hand. “Let’s make an agreement again, then. We both have to talk to our alphas about serious things by next week. Deal?”

Grimacing, Patty shook Erin’s hand. “Deal.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Holtzmann, I’m sorry for calling six times, but I just--I’d like to talk to you. If you have time. It’s important. To me. Please. This is Erin, by the way.”

Holtz pressed her phone to her forehead and cursed under her breath. Not answering Erin’s calls was killing her, but she didn’t know what to say. Obviously, something significant had happened, what with the mating and the knotting and the--everything. But Holtz couldn’t put her feelings into words and couldn’t fathom a full conversation, wherein Erin would likely demand more than she could give.

She sat in her apartment with a bottle of beer on the coffee table in front of her, half-empty and mostly ignored. Much to Abby’s dismay, she hadn’t gone to work in a few days; she claimed she’d caught a nasty bout of the flu, but in reality, the only reason she wanted to puke was the way she was treating Erin. Rubbing her forehead with her phone, she hated herself just a little bit more.

A knock sounded at the door, so she wearily got to her feet and padded down the hall. Presuming her visitor to be Abby, she feigned a cough and called, “I’m not feeling good, Abs. Come back later.”

“It’s not Abby,” a voice returned. “It’s Erin.”

Holtz froze. A line of expletives flew through her head but thankfully not out her mouth. “Erin, hi.”

“Can I come in?”

“I’m sick,” Holtz replied.

“I don’t mind.”

Trapped, Holtz sighed. She unlocked the door and gestured for Erin to enter. Erin appraised her silently before stalking inside and sitting on the couch. Holtz followed after, much slower and painfully aware that Erin likely knew she wasn’t actually sick.

“What brings you by?”

Erin settled against the couch and stared a moment longer. “I’ve been calling you.”

“Have you? I’ve been asleep mostly.” Holtz squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. “That was a lie. I’m sorry. I haven’t been asleep. I’ve been here, by myself, hoping that if I ignored the world hard enough, it would just go away.”

“What’s wrong with the world?”

“A lot of things,” Holtz replied.

After a beat, Erin offered, “Want to talk about it?”

“You--you’re not angry at me?”

“I’m frustrated. But being frustrated doesn’t stop me from caring. You owe me an explanation at some point. That is, if you still want me around.”

“Do _you_ want _me_?” The question popped out before Holtz could clamp a hand over her lips. The words hung between them awkwardly for a few tense seconds.

“I do,” Erin finally answered.

“Then I do owe you an explanation. I’m just afraid it’s not going to be a very good one.” Holtz headed for the couch and sank down on the cushions. She left a foot or so of space between them, in case Erin didn’t want her nearby.

“I’ll listen.”

Holtz hung her head as she spoke. “I panicked. I know you said you wanted what happened, but I couldn’t stop thinking that--that maybe it was just your heat. That I took advantage of you when you weren’t in your right mind. And it made me feel like everything I never wanted to be.”

Erin’s hand crossed the distance between them and gripped Holtz’s knee. “What’s that?”

“I never asked to be an alpha. I never wanted to control people, but that’s what alphas do, right? We’re assertive, aggressive leaders who take charge of their omegas.”

“I’m sensing there’s more than one issue at work here.”

“I want you,” Holtz said slowly, “but I don’t want to control you. And that’s what alphas do in relationships.”

“Oh.”

“And I thought that was possible, but the way I handled your heat--it made me feel like all the effort I put into not being what people expected of me went out the window.” Holtz cradled her temples in her fingertips. “I don’t want to be that. I want to be me.”

“And you can’t be you with me?”

This forced Holtz to look up immediately. She met Erin’s gaze, which was worried. “I can be me with you, but I’m worried about who ‘me’ is. Does that make any sense?”

“It does.” When Holtz let out a relieved sigh, Erin sat a little straighter. “I’m experiencing a bit of the same anxiety. I’ve worked very hard to get where I am in my life, despite the perceptions of omegas in my field. I don’t want my superiors to see my dating an alpha as a sign that I’ll soon settle down, start a family, and retire from teaching.”

Holtz shifted subtly closer and gently placed an arm around Erin’s shoulders. Thankfully, Erin didn’t jerk away but instead nestled closer. Here, she felt safe. Holtz held her close, and she luxuriated in the feeling that, for once, she could let someone take care of her without feeling judged or demeaned. For her part, Holtz tried to fathom why she didn’t mind the protective impulse she felt.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’d never expect you to do any of that. Unless you wanted to because I also wouldn’t want you to feel like you couldn’t.” Holtz paused. “Would you ever want to? I mean, settle down and have kids? Not retire, obviously, because I know how much you love your job.”

“I’ve never thought about it, really. For so long, it seemed like either have a job or have a family.”

“Like being pretty and smart, I bet you could do both.”

Erin let an unattractive snort loose, which prompted a bout of laughter from Holtz. She traced a finger along Holtz’s inseam. “I might want to, but can you imagine what people would say?”

“I spent a lotta my life purposely not caring.”

“I’m a little jealous.”

“Still hurt sometimes,” Holtz admitted quietly. “Every time my parents would ask about me finding a mate made me feel like what I was doing wasn’t enough. Like my accomplishments didn’t mean anything if I wasn’t in a relationship, on my way to popping out a few grandkids for them.”

“Two sides of the same coin, I guess.”

“Yeah… So, I’m sorry I ignored your calls. You’d think I’d be old enough and mature enough to handle my feelings--but there you have it… Abby was on my case to talk to you about all of this, but I thought I could just bury myself away and not have to deal with it.”

“I understand.” Erin’s hand slid higher. “But if you do it again…”

“Yes, ma’am,” Holtz replied, her voice deepening in response to the way Erin’s hand was creeping up her leg. She understood the implicit threat, and she wasn’t interested in causing Erin any sort of harm--at least non-consensually. Her groin warmed to Erin’s touch and shifted, forming into a member while Erin’s gentle hands massaged her. She gripped Erin’s wrist. “Erin Gilbert, I love you. I need you to know that before we move any farther right now.”

Erin met her clear, even gaze. “Jillian Holtzmann, I love you, too.”

“I just have one other question, while we’re still thinking clearly.”

“Yes.”

“Do you regret what happened at the restaurant?”

“No.”

Holtz released Erin’s wrist and nodded. “Okay.”

Deciding to match Holtz’s style of intimacy, Erin placed her hand on the button to Holtz’s slacks. “May I?”

Holtz grinned. “Baby, you do whatever you want to me.”

Erin surged over and kissed her. Holtz parted her lips, letting Erin’s tongue slip in and greet hers. She berated herself for even entertaining the thought of allowing this to slip away. When Erin undid her trousers, she eased her hips up and shimmied them down. Erin quickly slipped between her knees and ran her tongue along Holtz’s newly formed shaft. Holtz flopped back and groaned; she had, in the past, required a condom for all partners. With Erin, however, she was willing to forego this, if only during blow jobs. She had no doubt that Erin was faithful, just as she was.

Besides, now that she’d felt Erin’s firm lips and warm, wet tongue directly on her skin, she didn’t think she’d ever want anything else. Resisting the urge to just buck into Erin’s mouth, Holtz gripped the couch cushions and slowed her breathing. When Erin engulfed her, she let out a single, strangled cry. Erin’s head dipped lower, taking her all the way in. The sudden suction as Erin bobbed back nearly brought tears to Holtz’s eyes, as did the burst of cold air as Erin backed away.

“I have to make a call,” Erin said, wiping her mouth. “It’ll only take a minute.”

“What?”

“Patty and I had a deal. I need to make sure she followed through on her end. You run along to the bedroom.”

Holtz whined low in her throat. She could just order Erin to come back, but she decided she liked this new aspect of her girlfriend. “But--”

“And don’t touch yourself.” Erin adopted the tone she usually reserved for particularly rambunctious students. “I’ll take care of you in a bit.”

“Is this punishment?”

“Yes.”

Holtz grunted as she stood. She collected her pants and tottered toward the bedroom--the worst part, she thought, was that she couldn’t even complain. She’d treated Erin poorly, so she deserved much worse than a bit of a tease, especially if Erin was going to come back and take care of the mess she’d created.

In the kitchen, Erin leaned on the counter and waited for Patty to pick up. When there was no response, she left a quick message detailing that she and Holtz had spoken and that she wasn’t returning to campus for her office hours, so could Patty leave a note on her door in case a student came by?

With that taken care of, she ambled to the bedroom, unbuttoning her blouse as she went. She’d called Holtz six times. That Holtz had purposely not answered was unacceptable. Hopefully, by the end of the afternoon, Holtz would be inclined to behave in the future. She strode into the room and cast her clothing aside. Holtz sat on the bed, her eyes hungry and her arms outstretched.

“C’mere.”

“No.” Erin slid a hand down her stomach. “One minute for every call.”

“Seriously? I said I was sorry--”

“Mmhmm.”

Holtz watched, stock still, as Erin rubbed a finger against her clit; her eyes flicked up to Erin’s face, which keenly reflected the pleasure Erin must have been feeling. She wanted desperately to cross the room and take matters into her own hands, but she was going to respect Erin’s wishes. She remained in place, her hands clenching against the sheets and her cheeks tightly tucked between her teeth.

Erin sounded off as she touched herself, hoping to work Holtz into a passionate frenzy. She moaned Holtz’s name and thrust against her fingers. As she closed her eyes and lost herself in the feeling, she realized that she had been keeping track of the time; Holtz was, however, and a moment later, a pair of trembling hands landed on her waist.

“May I touch you now?”

“Please,” Erin replied, collapsing against her alpha.

Holtz guided her to the mattress and eased her down. She instinctively spread her legs--she didn’t know exactly what Holtz had planned, but she needed something. Holtz gently took her hand and suckled on her fingers before kissing the tender, sensitive skin of her thighs. Despite the torture of waiting, she wasn’t going to try and get even. Right then, all Holtz wanted was an intimate connection. Erin’s self-ministrations had done all the prep work, so Holtz wasted no further time on foreplay. After fumbling a condom from the bedside drawer, she guided her cock to Erin’s entrance and slid in. Erin gripped her shoulders and drew her down into a kiss that was both demanding and sweet.

Holtz pulled back and rested her forehead against Erin’s. Despite her anxiety, she realized right then that this was the woman she wanted to spend her life with--and the thought wasn't even terrifying.


	10. Chapter 10

Erin struggled with the box, which wasn’t all that heavy but was too large to fit comfortably in her arms. She lifted a knee to balance the bottom while she adjusted her grip; a laugh from the top of the stairwell drew her attention. Holtz bounded down and took one end.

“Need some help?”

“I would have managed.”

“What sort of alpha would I be if I didn’t help my omega carry the heavy objects?”

Erin snorted. “The kind I’m willing to live with.”

“Ah, right.” Holtz feigned removing her grip, but Erin tutted at her. “So, you do want my help?”

“You’re already here. Might as well.”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Holtz grunted as she lifted the box totally out of Erin’s grip, ignoring Erin’s protests. She carried it all the way up to her apartment and settled it on the ground in the kitchen. Although she wasn’t sure what was inside, she figured the kitchen was a safe place to store the box for the time being. There were a number of other boxes placed around, waiting to be unpacked, and several more still in the back of the van parked at the curb.

Erin stood in the doorway, feeling like a visitor in what was supposed to be her home now. Holtz noticed her hesitation and waved her inside. She gladly leaned into Holtz’s waiting arms and sighed.

“This is just going to take some getting used to.”

“For me, too,” Holtz admitted. “I thought I was going to be a bachelor for the rest of my life.”

“Pfft. By choice only. I happen to know that women fawn over you.”

“They fawn over what they see--but getting someone to stick around after they know me?” Holtz shrugged. “You’re an oddity, Erin.”

“You know, that’s not the first time someone’s told me that.”

“It’s a compliment.”

“That’s how I took it.” Looking to razz Holtz right back, Erin grinned and asked, “Have you told your parents about me?”

Holtz groaned loudly and dropped her arms away. She pointed to the door. “I believe there are more boxes waiting for you downstairs.”

“Remind me again of why you live so high up?”

“I like the view.”

“And why the elevator doesn’t function?”

“I like the exercise.”

“Uh-huh.”

Holtz slapped her ass as she exited.

0-0-0

Abby entered the apartment and looked around slowly. Holtz laughed at the open suspicion in her eyes and assured her that nothing was going to explode--that the only changes Erin had insisted on were for decorative and pleasant. Abby shrugged and handed her a bottle of wine.

“Not to be rude, but this is freakin’ big for you.”

Holtz shrugged and set the bottle on the kitchen counter. She could hear Erin in the other room, so she kept her voice low. “I know. It’s--it’s still intimidating. Scary.”

“I know.”

“I still have this little voice in my head telling me that I’m finally doing what I’m naturally supposed to--and it’s driving me a little crazy. I want to love Erin for Erin, not because some stupid chemicals in my brain are telling me that she’s an omega who’s both attractive and into me.” Holtz ran a hand through her wild hair and shrugged helplessly.

“So?” Abby sifted through a drawer for a bottle opener. “What’s stopping you?”

“What?”

“My mom told me a long time ago that love might start as a feeling, but in the end, it’s a choice. You have to choose every day to love the one you’re with. As long as you’re choosing her because she’s smart and motivated and kind, not because she has reproductive capabilities, I’d say you’re in good shape.”

“I…”

“Maybe it is just nature asserting itself. You’ll never know, buddy.” Abby screwed the opener into the bottle, strained, and popped the cork out. She found a wine glass in the cabinet and poured herself a healthy portion. “So you have to decide if you want to give up something really good on the chance that you’re just congenitally compatible, or if you want to choose to wake up next to her every morning for the next however long. Simple.”

Abby handed Holtz the glass and then filled one for herself. Holtz slugged a third of it down and blinked into the space where Abby had been standing previously. She knew she was smart--but apparently very basic concepts eluded her. Abby gripped her elbow and guided her to the dining space, where Erin and Patty were already seated.

“You must be Patty,” Abby stated as she plopped down opposite the taller woman. “Abby Yates.”

“Nice to meet you,” Patty replied, extending her hand for a firm shake.

“I hear we might be family soon.”

Holtz nearly spat out her sip of wine. “Abby, what the hell?”

“What? You were looking at engagement earrings when we walked past that jeweler.” Abby helped herself to a spoonful of mashed potatoes. “Did you think I didn’t notice?”

Erin tilted her head and stared long and hard at Holtz. “You were? Thinking about it, I mean.”

“Well…” Holtz fidgeted with her cutlery. “That’s a big step, and it’s a little too soon for me right now, but it’s nice to think about.”

“I agree,” Erin murmured with pink cheeks.

“Enough embarrassing them,” Patty chided. “You can keep ribbing Holtz at work, but you gotta lay off my girl.”

Holtz snorted. “Don’t let her hear you call her that.”

“No, I’m Patty’s girl.”

“What? Last time I called you my girl, you spit your water all over my face.”

“I spotted a colleague.” Erin sat a little straighter and neatened her blouse. “You know I’m not ready for people to know, yet.”

“Well, I didn’t need a bath when a simple hush would have worked much more effectively.”

“Y’all are cute.” Patty lifted her glass in Abby’s direction. “So are you.”

Abby considered her for a moment and clinked her glass in toast. “Doing anything later tonight, while these two probably christen every surface in this place?”

“Trying my hardest not to think about it.”

“Want to distract ourselves together?”

Holtz watched this unfold and felt perplexed. “Are you two--did we match make you on accident?”

“Holtz, I’m allowed to have friends besides you.” Abby winked at Patty, and Holtz sputtered on her drink yet again. That was not friendly, she thought. That wink was flirty. Just like Abby didn’t want to think about her evening, she suddenly had no desire to picture Abby’s.

0-0-0

“So…” Erin slid a dish into the dishwasher and spoke as casually as she could. Her efforts were fruitless but well-intentioned. “Marriage?”

“I know.”

“Were you serious?”

Holtz wiped the counters down and decided that she might as well be honest. That had gotten them pretty far, and she was pretty certain she wanted things to go even farther. “I was, yeah. Not right now, but maybe someday. Is that something you’d want?”

“I don’t really know.” Erin tidied the spice rack. “I guess, I dreamed about getting married when I was really young, but then reality set in. I didn’t think marriage was in my future because I didn’t think I’d ever meet someone I’d want to marry.”

“We don’t ever have to. I just--it was a passing thought. I’d be happy with you, married or not.”

“Holtz, when I met you, that changed.” Erin took Holtz’s hands and squeezed. “I think that getting married wouldn’t be half bad if I was marrying you.”

“I’m hoping we’ve got years together to think about that before we do anything,” Holtz replied. “So, don’t promise me anything, yet.”

“The only thing I’m promising,” Erin murmured as she closed the distance between them, “is one heck of a night.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Holtz wrapped her arms around Erin and pulled her flush. Her hands wandered to Erin’s ass, which she cupped and squeezed. “My standards for a single heckuva are pretty high.”

“I’ll do my best to keep up.” Erin kissed the tip of her nose. “In case you didn’t know, I’m a quick study.”

Holtz laughed, grabbing Erin’s hand and all but dragging her to the bedroom. “We have forever to have crazy sex all over the apartment, but tonight, I want to be in here. In our room. In our bed.”

Erin shed her clothing quickly and reclined atop the comforter. “What are you waiting for?”

Holtz shimmied out of her garb, which took substantially longer. She couldn’t quite remember anymore why she thought it was a good idea to dress up and look nice for a housewarming party among friends.

“Y’know, that’s the second time tonight that I’ve heard that.”

“What answer did you give the asker earlier?”

“Didn’t have one.” Holtz clambered onto the bed and leaned in for a kiss and a small taste of what was to come. “Have one now, though.”

“And?”

“I’m done waiting.”

She nibbled on Erin’s collarbone while her hands found their posts atop Erin’s breasts. With a firm grasp, she fondled her targets and rolled Erin’s nipples between her fingers. As she kissed Erin again, she enjoyed how Erin arched up against her. When she inhaled, she could smell Erin’s entirely unique scent--one that was both comforting and exhilarating. She wondered if her scent did anything for Erin and resolved to ask later, when science was more important. At the moment, she had better things to do with her mouth.

With that in mind, she ducked lower and replaced her fingers with her teeth. She groaned against Erin’s chest when she felt a lithe hand sliding down her lower belly and stroking at her hardening dick. There was nothing in the world that could ever compare to how Erin made her feel, she realized as she shifted down toward Erin’s groin. She of course had her reservations about the social expectations placed on her shoulders by her simply being an alpha. However, Abby was right. She wasn’t going to let society get in the way of being happy.

She lapped at Erin’s clit and let the sounds of Erin’s pleasure wash over her. Every noise sent bolts of excitement shooting down to her shaft, and she ached to take Erin in their home. In all things, she liked to be thorough--so there was no cutting corners. She was going to make sure Erin was good and fucked by the time they fell asleep together, and they had all night. For once, they belonged together. There was no apartment to leave for in the morning, no reason they had to part when the alarm went off.

Erin scrambled away and dug into the bedside table drawer for a condom, which she unwrapped with shaking fingers. She rolled it down onto Holtz’s member and stared into Holtz’s eyes. “Please.”

“You want me inside you?”

“Yes.” Erin wrapped her arms around Holtz’s neck, dragging the blonde down atop her once more. “I want you to knot in me.” When Holtz hesitated, she added, “I’m on the pill now, and you’ve got a condom. I know we’re not ready for kids. Not yet, anyway.”

“So, you’d want them?”

“Whoa.” Erin nuzzled Holtz’s neck and joked, “I was raised traditionally. You have to marry me before you knock me up. Don’t you know how society works?”

“Yeah... but I’ve always preferred to say fuck it to society.”

“I’d prefer you just fuck me.” Erin ended the conversation with a bruising kiss, which Holtz one-upped by sliding inside. She thrust quickly and carefully, building her pleasure right alongside Erin’s. When she knotted, she didn’t feel panic or guilt or any part of the expectations of her role bearing down on her.

She felt like she was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming along on the ride!
> 
> I'm thinking about doing a follow up, so be sure to hit me up in the comments for what you might like to see!


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